what would u do?

[Angelgirl]

Hi,

I need some advice regarding next situation:

My parents want me to get married with a guy of their choice, but I dont like him in anyway.. I know this guy almost my whole life, but I have never liked him becoz lots of reasons.. I told my parents that my answer is no.. But they are not listening, now my parents gave me 2 option: (1) get married with the guy of their choice or (2) leave my (parents) house and do whatever I want to...

I dont know what to do if I say yes to marry that guy and I am sure this will be my first step towards ruining my life... Or leave my parents, but I wont be able to live without them, becoze I love them alot and I love my family...!

Any advice??

[madiha]

wooohoo...thats so scary.how can u live without your parents man.
i think u should talk to that guy. may be u start liking him after getting married, u kno wat i mean or may be you can change him as u go along, but living without your parents is just more then ruining you lyf with him.
i think you should think thousand tym before taking any step.
its all up to you....gud luck

[Hot NZ Guy]

Dont like saying this but your parents are being a bit harsh and leaving you in the middle...

If marrying the guy is ruining your life then id prob insist on not marrying - otherwise you know what the last option is just leave. Also y dont you speak to a close family member who can speak to your parents about this...

Just feel ur parents being very unreasonable!

[Sweet Munda]

grab your parents by their shoulders and shake them n ask em...are u crazy!? what would u have done if you were in my position?

[Charming $layer]

You are going to hate me for saying this, but this is what I gather from your situation.
You don't want to leave your parents because you love and care about them a lot. And they are wrong to force you into something you don't want to do. It is absolutely disgusting to see parents who will sacrifice their childs happiness for their own petty reasons.
If I were in your place and had gotten that ultimatum, I would have packed my bags then and there and left. But I am not you.
All I can tell you is, believe in yourself and do what you want to do and what you feel is right.
You have already tried talking to them, but they don't seem to undertstand. Give it another shit. If it doesn't work out, I would sincerely advise you to leave. There is no point in ruining your life for anyone, even if it is your parents. For afterall it is you who has to live your life, not your parents who gave you the life.
Hope that helped and good luck.

[Angelgirl]

wooohoo...thats so scary.how can u live without your parents man.
i think u should talk to that guy. may be u start liking him after getting married, u kno wat i mean or may be you can change him as u go along, but living without your parents is just more then ruining you lyf with him.
i think you should think thousand tym before taking any step.
its all up to you....gud luck

Thank you for reply.. But their is no use of talking to that guy, he is really rude and he doesnt like me either... And I already tried talking to him, he doesnt care!

[Angelgirl]

Dont like saying this but your parents are being a bit harsh and leaving you in the middle...

If marrying the guy is ruining your life then id prob insist on not marrying - otherwise you know what the last option is just leave. Also y dont you speak to a close family member who can speak to your parents about this...

Just feel ur parents being very unreasonable!

I am not that close to any family member and beside that I dont want to give my parents bad name... I dont want people say bad things about them..

grab your parents by their shoulders and shake them n ask em...are u crazy!? what would u have done if you were in my position?

Thank you for ur advice but I already did that and nothing changed...

[Angelgirl]

You are going to hate me for saying this, but this is what I gather from your situation.
You don't want to leave your parents because you love and care about them a lot. And they are wrong to force you into something you don't want to do. It is absolutely disgusting to see parents who will sacrifice their childs happiness for their own petty reasons.
If I were in your place and had gotten that ultimatum, I would have packed my bags then and there and left. But I am not you.
All I can tell you is, believe in yourself and do what you want to do and what you feel is right.
You have already tried talking to them, but they don't seem to undertstand. Give it another shit. If it doesn't work out, I would sincerely advise you to leave. There is no point in ruining your life for anyone, even if it is your parents. For afterall it is you who has to live your life, not your parents who gave you the life.
Hope that helped and good luck.

I dont hate u for saying this.. I have been thinking the same and thank you 4 ur advice

[doe_eyed_beauty]

Hey There
I hope you don't hate me for being so harsh, because I've kind of gone through the same thing in my life and I'm speaking from personal experience. First of all let me give my golden piece of advice, never do anthing your heart doesn't want you to do, I mean ANYTHING!! Especially marriage even if your parents are pressurizing you. I mean I have heard this crap so many times before where the parents will sacarfice their children's happines for their own personal unlterior motives and to satisfy their personal egos and get a false sense of power and try to show you just how powerful they are and how weak you are. The fact your parents have given you an ultimatum that if you don't do what they say just say that that they don't care about you and what you want, and yet you say you can't live without them and they are trying to scare and threaten you by telling you to get out of their house because they are trying to take advantage of your helplessness, but let me tell you hun where there is a will there is a way, I don't know where you live, but if you dont want to go through with it, no power on earth can make you get married to a guy you don't love, and my advice to you is don't go through it or you will be sorry for the rest of your life, this is marriage and no joke. I got married to the guy of my choice we're of different religions and caste but we are so happy as compared to alot of the other girls I know who got married according their parents wishes.

Let me also tell you one more fact, if you marry this guy even though you don't want to, and if in the future anything goes wrong and you need support I can tell you from many examples I know your family will never come to your rescue, I'm sure you're a smart enough and mature enough girl to know if not today, soooner or later you will have to lead your own life and your family will not always be there for you. This might sound harsh to you but trust me from the way it sounds your parents don't seem to give a damn about you, so why are you worried about them, have enough guts self respect and confidence to stand your ground because if you weaken at this point you will regret many years down the road. when I look back at my life I'm so glad I didn't do what my parents wanted otherwise my life would have been ruined and my own mother is so jealous that I got a good husband and she has tried to do many things to break our marriage and has failed because she and my dad were never happy, I think maybe that's why your parents want you to marry this guy since you say you have known him all your life and I guess his family also must be knowing your parents really well, or maybe your parents just don't want to take the time to find a nice suitable guy for you. My mom actually wanted me to marry a guy of her choice because she had the hots for his dad, and it would have been the perfect excuse for her to stay close to her love, I'm sure you parents must be having their own hidden agenda otherwise they wouldn't be behaving so stupid. As my last advice DON'T GO THROUGH WITH IT!! Do what your mind says and you've made it pretty clear what that is, and stand up to your family, I hope that helped. Sorry I know this was kind of long.

[-Rohit-]

well why dont u like the guy ur parents selected for you

is he not goodlooking or you are not attracted to him

ur parents blindly dont ask you to marry some guy,they want u to put in safe hands

u need to interact with that guy,get to know him and still u dont like him then u can say no and say the reason to your parents
well ur parents cant force you,at the end of the day its upto you to decide as its ur life
i hope they listen to you why u dont want to marry him

[Ð]

If I would have been in ur place, i would never say yes to the marriage, even if it means i'll
have to leave my family and home. I think u'll be ruining ur life marrying a guy u don't really
want to marry, and maybe ur parents will come around one day, they're just putting pressure
on u now? In the end they can't force you, it's ur life..they're not the ones who will be married
& unhappy with that guy, you'r the one who will have to go through all that. I know it's easier
said then done, wish u all the best..I hope everything works out.

[daisy]

if ur parents actually did care for u a little tiny bit... they would have sed ok lets find another guy for u.. but they're nt doin this.. they either hidin the actual reason from u.. to why u shd get married to this psn.. or maybe coz ur a female and they're helpless.. i dont know.. but personally i wouldnt marry sum1 just like that.. cz marriage isnt a signature on a piece of a paper.. but a promise to be there for each other durin ur lifetime.. an if ur parents are religious.. just show them ur religious books.. coz in evry religious scriptures.. it says, clearly in them, that a female can disaprove of a guy if she has a valid reason.. if not, then u either talk to ur close relative.. an dnt worry about givin them a bad name.. coz eventually the will begin to have a good name, if they do melt in to listen to ur word, relative or follow the religion properly.. an if u dnt tell them, then dnt forget u wil b havin the bad name.. wud u want that.. coz then there wont be no escapi for u.. an if u wud then just get married to ur parents choice, and let ur fate decide.. i know i sound harsh.. but i had to say it.. coz there r so many uneducated parents hu just want to ruin there kids life and the kids just agree to it.. finkin, yeah y not.. just coz they gave u a life.. dnt forgot god gave u the life, and god will take it on the right time, but dependin on the paths u choose.. just assume that god gave u this choice, follow ur religion that allows to reject a guy, or follow the path to destruction.. choice is urs
xxx

[Angelgirl]

Thank you all of you for advice.. I made my decission.. I going to live with my friend till my parents get the point if not.. I can start my own live...

[•Amrita•]

There has to be a way for you to NOT marry the guy and make ur parents happy.
Is there anyone else you might be considering on marrying? If not, then why not just sit them down and explain to them why you cannot marry him. Is there a personal reason as to why you don't like him? If so, let them know exactly how you feel. It is ridiculous that they are forcing you to marry him without any concern about your own wishes.

But hun, don't get distraught, if you don't wanna marry him, you won't. period. end of story. Talk to your parents, if they don't agree then ignore the subject when it comes up. They cannot physically force you to marry him. I think they won't really act on what they say though, I doubt they will kick you out of the house, bc in all end you are still their daughter and they luv you.

Don't get down, just talk to them! And if you have ne siblings, talk to them too!
And if there is anyone else you have on ur mind, tell them and tell him!

[jackson86]

hi..really its so tough situation for you..but why your parents forcing you for marry without knowing your wish..you should talk with your parents and try to convince them that why you don't want to marry with that guy..and you should also talk with that guy try to know him..may be after interact with him you start like him....