Confused

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

Hi guys i am havent been on this forums for really long time :( i need some advice and hoping you guys can help me

k i am a 22 year old girl i go uni and work full time. My life was going perfect i was my parents perfect girl never done anything against their will. Never had a bf, never went clubbing, never drank i know lol i am a loser but i wanted my parents to be proud of me. I did wat they said i was happy with the fact that i will get arrange marriage cause i really dont go out and don't talk to any guys.

Umm k one day at work dis guy came to work n really liked me. I never had a guy who had the guts to come n talk to me. Cause everybody thought i had attitude but in reality i was just too shy an have big brother who is like my bodygaurd ;(. Well this guy knowing who i didn't even talk to cause when he try to talk to me i told him i am not that kind of a girl. So like a bollywood movie he sent me flowers, teddy bears but i returned it back to him cause i knew there is hope cause i am gonna get arrange marriage. But somhow with some co incidence we start talking as friends. He knew alot of ppl that i worke with so the there was alot of co incidences lol. Well i told him he need to get my parents approval first n he really wanted to marry me so he did. Which i really admire cause i knew he was serious about everything went fine my parents like him n everything. Well our famlies met n everything was fine n i was happy that i didn't hurt anybody.
Well his fam n my fam r totally different people n start having some issues. N for him his fam was important n for mine was too. So we stop talking cause we didn't want to hurt anybody. During that time i got a rishta from a very good fam n since we werent talking i went along with it and the moment i met the guy i realize how real this is n i wont be able to with my ex. The rishta guy have everything i ever dreamed of in my husband but i still cant see myself with him cause i keep thinking about my ex.

We had 2 meetings n realize i can't be away from my ex n told my mom i don't wanna marry the other guy and use something as an excuse and she said k so i was happy that they r off my back. N during that time i started to talk to my ex he is kinda mean lol n have a past but i know he have a good heart. My ex is not that good looking which i really don't mind but for my family is big factor cause they say i am way too preety for him. That people gonna make fun of us and my fam. But i dont care about that i don't know if that is love or maybe he was my first bf that why i feel that way. Even he says he doesn't deserve me n i should go with who my parents pick but i can't. I can't imagine my future without him n my parents are very much against him because some of things he did. He have anger issues lol.

N this rishta guy called me the other day n said he really likes me. I told him i need time n he is very understanding and nice. N willing to wait n want to get to know me better n he said if i say no to him at the end he is fine with it.

So i am very confused
at one side i have love, who doesn't have a good job, gets mad, not that good looking. But i love him n i know i have to struggle alot in the future cause he is very controlling n my fam feels that i think i can handle it but we won't even make it a year cause of his thinking n anger.

The other side i have this good looking guy, with good job, very polite, will do wat i want him to do but there is no love but i know i will have secure life with him with no struggle.

Wat should i pick guys i am sooo confused n don't wanna hurt anybody. My bf is going thro sooo much and been thro soo much n i am the only positive things in his life n he told me if i leave him i will break him n his trust in any girl. But at the same time he say he doesn't deserve me cause the things he put me thro some time.
I am not trying to sound i am soo perfect i have anger issue too i am very ziddi and thats y my fam think i wont be able to make it with my bf. I am trying to change for my bf n my fam think people can't change n we will get a divorce cause of my anger and his anger. U think people can change he is trying to chnage too n doesn't get mad as much now.

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

Sorry its bit long but thats my whole life story : ( hope u guys will help cause i am very confused n asking god for answers too lol

[kalashna_love]

look missy iam a guy and i have been through the same situation but my story was this that i like the girl alot and had a relationship with her. the girl was a perfect daddys girls and than the girl even told me that she would never go against her parents cause they were the ones to give her life and raise and all.

well when the dad looked for the rishta for the girl, i was damn hurt and pissed off and almost ended up killing the dad. the story here was that i had fallen very deeply in love with her and couldn't stay away from her. I was really hurt. The girl also wanted to marry me but couldnt do anything. So the main question is that when the time comes will you be able to stand up and fight to be with your ex? if not its better for you to end it right now coz the longer you drag it the more painfull it will be. You know its hard to be given hopes and than have them taken away from you.
I have been there.
You should choose whether you will be able to go against your parents coz its the mostly likely crossroad that you are going to come to.

[L]

So the main question is that when the time comes will you be able to stand up and fight to be with your ex? if not its better for you to end it right now coz the longer you drag it the more painfull it will be. You know its hard to be given hopes and than have them taken away from you.
I have been there.
You should choose whether you will be able to go against your parents coz its the mostly likely crossroad that you are going to come to.



^ secondeddddd..

all the best, Jatti Punjaban!

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

hay guys thanx for the reply n u guys are soo true n my bf said the same things he was like i know u won't leave ur family for me. being a girl it's really hard to stand for love n when u r from a desi family. But at first i thought i can't go against my family but when the rishta came in for me i realize i have to step up. it took me a really long time to tell my dad that i wanna marry my bf and his response was if u pick him over us than don't ever came back to us after marriage. they said they will get me married to my bf and after the marriage i am nobody to dem which really hurts. n my bf hate my fam soo much now that he said after marriage he won't let me go to my fam or talk to them at all. so in a way they both hate each other but both love me and i love both of them lol i hope that made sense. so i have loose somebody by picking side which i never ever wanted to that's y i was happy with arrange marriage idea to avoid the situation i am in. u think it's worth it to leave my fam for someone u love and who loves u alot. i know my bf cares alot for me he is very typical desi guy with ego and izzat n every thing which i respect alot. he respect me like his wife never did anything to me and was scared to touch me and these things tells me he is in it for love not for lust. i really hope god help in this my whole life depends on this n god can't do this to me:(

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

n kalshna love so did she get married to someone else?? i have never made a decision in my whole life n i am not confident in myself. my family says i will get over it if i talk to other guy and i can't talk to other guy cause i feel i am cheating on my bf. my parents made a deal with me that i should give the other a guy a chance if i do that they will give my bf a another chance too. u guys think that's fair??

[kalashna_love]

[QUOTE=*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~;876351]n kalshna love so did she get married to someone else?? i have never made a decision in my whole life n i am not confident in myself. my family says i will get over it if i talk to other guy and i can't talk to other guy cause i feel i am cheating on my bf. my parents made a deal with me that i should give the other a guy a chance if i do that they will give my bf a another chance too. u guys think that's fair??[/QUOTE


she ditched me. and yup she married some other dude. And she constantly mocks me. I d rather not say how. Wana know something that the girls mother did to me? She called me once and than told me that she really liked me and that she wanted to marry her daughter but she was helpless cause of the father and she will do anything to help me. and i called the girl and said that her mother said this to me. and guess what the girl said. She said her mom called after talking to me and that she told me to stay away from her and that i agreed to leave her. she even said that i swore at her and all and that finally i agreed to stay away and get out of her life.

I dont want to say anything bad about your parents but this is what had happened to me. Everyone is just a selfish hypocrite these days.

And the other thing about your parents saying that they dont want to see you after you marry that guy. same thing happened (Emotional blackmail) to me, i mean to the girl. heres what i have to say to you. After you marry, whom are you going to stay with? Your parents or your husband? Your hubby is the person you are going to grow old with and die with and your parents will be long gone before that.

And other thing i assume you have spent a lot of time with your bf and know him well. you know his character and all. so you decide. what about the other guy, what if he takes gaining you as a challenge? he will show his nice side to you to pull you over to his side and may not be so pleasant after marriage. What than? Trust me, i seen my friends do this, they used a lot of girls just to gain them as a competition from other guys. And after that if you r marriage breaks, your self esteem will be scared, and nothing will fix that and you will end up regretting the rest of your life if you had married your bf.
And not to mention your children because they will suffer as a result. Than there is nothing that your parents can do to console you. Its not like they will keep you at their home and feed you. at some point or the other you will become a burden to them.

And the same can happen if you marry your bf. but the thing is how well do you know him? Its your home and you decide how you wana make it and with whom. But on the other most of the love marriage dont last too long.

the important thing is that your action decides the fate of many lives, your bf's , your future kids, and yours. Your rejection may destroy the guy completely.

You know when i got ditched, i became suicidal. It ended my carrier. I quit out of my job because i couldn't concentrate, and its hard to get another job. i got another job and couldn't cope with it. its been 4 months and i am sitting at home. Believe me my life as it is, its very F****D up. and the advice of get over it well it doesn't work. so you see....

[kalashna_love]

Sorry to bring my story into this but i wanted to show you the magnitude of the situation. its not something that you can decide over night or by listening to someone else or having someone else make that decision for you.

He wont touch you. thats very nice and sweet. hard to find guys like that. But what he go through when u marry someone else? How will he stand the thought of someone touching you if he loves you that much?

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

hay its sooo weired the things u been thro and talking about it's the same thing me n my bf are going thro. its pretty scary my mom did the same things and blamed it on my dad. he called my mom when he find out about the rishta n my mom said she liked him and all but my dad won't agree.
my fam is treating me n my feeling as a toy. i have seen a diffrent side of parents n it makes me disguested. they want me look preety when i go to school so the other guy can see me i feel like i am on sale or something i feel ashamed.
n like u said how will my bf feel if someone touches me i know he can't take that he called me the day he found out about the rishta and he said he feels really weired cause he can't imagine anybody touching me.

n some of things u said my bf said the same exact things u r sure u r not him lol cause u have said some things that is exactly the same as my bf.

n about the other guy he doesn't even know i have a bf. he doesn't even have dat many friends he is a nerd for him school is everything. he doesn't go out he is whitewash. but thanx for ur story cause i can realate 100% to it.

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

i know we have girls on this forums. wat do u they think?? cause i know being a girl in a desi fam changes alot of things.

[kalashna_love]

n some of things u said my bf said the same exact things u r sure u r not him lol cause u have said some things that is exactly the same as my bf.




Take a good look in my hart, maybe you will find your true love in me...

[Stricly Singhs Mafia]

Jatti Ji ihni confusion kanu....
you know what they say
life is a maze we twist and turn through it

life takes u places yo....we have no control over that
the only person that can help you outta this situation is you. yourself
nobody can change your heart
plus first u gotta unconfuse ur self like when u say
"i love my ex but the rishta guy is the guy of your dream"
well if you love somebody/something that is what your hard desires
nothing esle but the person or the thing you love...

so give it a good thought and if you say that rishta guy is what ur heart desires...well lemme tell you something not everybody is able to get what
there heart wants i mean not everybody gets a chance...and if u have it sieze the opportunity and if u look at it tecnically

rishta guy = ur hearts wish = u happy = ur parents are happy

on da other hand u have already give ur ex a try i mean ur parents tried so u can't blame them for that ..and i think those are the kind of parents u don't want mad or upset with u right...

so if u go with ur ex u will b happy but will b able to stay happy knowing your parents aren't

like i said you need to help urself and unconfuse urself....i also agree with klashna love when he said the longer ur stay in this mess da more painfull it will get for u

[kalashna_love]

^^thank you ji

[Almira]

Hey Jatti

Im so sorry for what your going through. It must be so hard on you. I don't know how i would cope in your situation, but i am looking from the outside so in my opinion, you should do which makes u happy. The question is who do u choose your parents choice or yours?. Im sure if you reject the rishta you will get more, but will you be able to forget your ex?. Only you can decide. BUT love is one thing and a stable life is another. with the rishta you will have what ever you want in a married life. But then your ex only has to get a good job and establish himself.

Anyways i wish you the best of luck and your hapiness.

[kalashna_love]

so whats the update on your situation. keep us posted

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

Take a good look in my hart, maybe you will find your true love in me...
lol u r cute but thank you soo much for sharing your story with me. it helped me alot since your situations was alot like mine.

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

Jatti Ji ihni confusion kanu....
you know what they say
life is a maze we twist and turn through it

life takes u places yo....we have no control over that
the only person that can help you outta this situation is you. yourself
nobody can change your heart
plus first u gotta unconfuse ur self like when u say
"i love my ex but the rishta guy is the guy of your dream"
well if you love somebody/something that is what your hard desires
nothing esle but the person or the thing you love...

so give it a good thought and if you say that rishta guy is what ur heart desires...well lemme tell you something not everybody is able to get what
there heart wants i mean not everybody gets a chance...and if u have it sieze the opportunity and if u look at it tecnically

rishta guy = ur hearts wish = u happy = ur parents are happy

on da other hand u have already give ur ex a try i mean ur parents tried so u can't blame them for that ..and i think those are the kind of parents u don't want mad or upset with u right...

so if u go with ur ex u will b happy but will b able to stay happy knowing your parents aren't

like i said you need to help urself and unconfuse urself....i also agree with klashna love when he said the longer ur stay in this mess da more painfull it will get for u
hanji singh mafia ji pta nhain main eni confuse kyo aa :(. but ya u r rite. and when i said that the rishta guy is my dream husband and would have married him if i didn't had my bf. Being with my bf change everything. now nobody seems like the rite guy only my bf seems like the rite one. even tho he have nothing i ever wanted in my husband but i still love him i know it sounds dumb hana??

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

well, here is my update i was soo stress than i took all my anger out on my bf. so he said we need a break for two months. during the break we are not gonna contact each other and i am gonna see if that makes any difference in me. i am going to concentrate on school and my job. i will gonna talk to the rishta guy to make my parents happy. i can give him a try to see wat happen so my parent won't say i didn't give their choice a chance. if not talking to my bf and talking to the rishta guy makes my parents happy i am willing to do that but if that doesn't work if i don't feel the same with rishta guy i am gonna marry my bf no matter what happens. and i think than my parents will understand too hopefully they will i am just praying alot. i promised myself that i will do path everyday so god can help me cause i realllllllly need babji"s help lol hopefully he will show me the right way. cause this is very important decision of my life and this decision can make my life or ruin my life.

[SURTIGAL]

to be honest i will defo choose the second one u wil stay happy with him the choice is urs:)

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

hmmm k today i didn't talk to my bf and talked to the rishta guy. n miss my bf more and more. i am comparing my first meeting with my bf with the rishta guy. i remember my bf made me laugh made me smile. n this rishta guy all he can talk about is school which is k but not all the time you know. n one thing i learned about the rishta guy he doesnt know about diwali ohhhh my gosh how can u not know. that is a biggg factor i want a traditional family. we live is US it's already hard to keep up with our culture if i get married to a fam who r not that traditional we will forget our culture.

i know u guys gonna think i am stupid or something. but i like desi guys who have that ego n is very manly lol. i don't want someone who listen to me all the time lol i know every girl want that but i grew up with my big bro and dad who r very desi like jatt style lol. i want my husband to worry when i am not home on time, ask me where i am going show that he cares. the rishta guy is very mellow and non desi :( which my parents think is a good thing so i can do watever i want and have a free life after marriage.

but i really appreciate you guys is advices and replies thank you sooo much and i will keep u guys updated lol n tell u who i am getting married too : )

[kalashna_love]

marry me instead, iam gona be watching you like a hawk...lol

[Almira]

Hey Jatti

K this is my opinion. I think you shouldnt marry the rishta guy. Seriously u know what you want in a man and hes not that. I dont know if your bf is, but rishta guy is not. and maybe if your bf is not perfect, then maybe your perfect guy is stil out there

I know exactly what you mean. i also want a protective strong guy. we gurls should go for what we want and not what we hope he'll be.

Anyways good luck

well, here is my update i was soo stress than i took all my anger out on my bf. so he said we need a break for two months. during the break we are not gonna contact each other and i am gonna see if that makes any difference in me. i am going to concentrate on school and my job. i will gonna talk to the rishta guy to make my parents happy. i can give him a try to see wat happen so my parent won't say i didn't give their choice a chance. if not talking to my bf and talking to the rishta guy makes my parents happy i am willing to do that but if that doesn't work if i don't feel the same with rishta guy i am gonna marry my bf no matter what happens. and i think than my parents will understand too hopefully they will i am just praying alot. i promised myself that i will do path everyday so god can help me cause i realllllllly need babji"s help lol hopefully he will show me the right way. cause this is very important decision of my life and this decision can make my life or ruin my life.

[kalashna_love]

Hey Almira posted, wohoooo wohooo yiyyyeeeee go almira

[Almira]

Im glad you noticed :cool: lol

Hey Almira posted, wohoooo wohooo yiyyyeeeee go almira

[*SALMA*]

Hmmmmm sumfing similar lyk this happened to me a long tym ago lol

2 cut it short i got engaged wen i was 14 to one of my relatives without my consent and he was exactly like the way u described the guy ur parents want u to marry, n then i met my hubby at first it was nothing serious bu as time went on we fell deeper n deeper in love, he was supposed to be getting married to his first cousin n me to this guy. btw after i met my hubby we found out that we were distant relatives and both our families knew each other really well.

anyways i told my aunty to tell my parents and believe me wen i say ww3 kiked off ww3 kiked, i tried and tried to persuade them, now my hubbys fam was really backwards whereas my fam was the opposite, and i was very stubborn and always had my way,

my parents were like its never gona work coz we r totally different but i knew deep down that no matter what my hubby will always be there for me, and that he loves me a lot, i was with him long enough to know what he was like, i had people telling me all sorts of lies about him but i knew none of it was true.

So i fighted n fighted n ended up marrying the love of my life dont ask how but it wsnt easy, my parents didnt talk to me for a year, but then they seen that i was happy, shocked even lol n now almost 9years down the line we r still together and still going strong.

Now i took that decision coz i had full faith in my hubby, so u need to sit back and look at your situation n think is this the guy that i can spend the rest of my life, if you go with ur bf and against ur fam then u have to try extra hard to make it work, coz believe me a lot of people will be waiting for u to mess it up. but once ur parents see that u r happy trust me they will be happy to, coz our parents just want us to be happy.

I mean i couldnt c myself spending the rest of my life with this guy that my parents got me engaged to i jus knew it wouldnt work out n now my parents r saying the same thing it wouldnt have worked out, coz only my hubby can put up with me lol

so think about it long n hard, this two month separation doesnt really mean anything, it jus seems that u want the best of both worlds but the way i see it to gain sumthings in life u have to lose some things, the final decision is urs and either way u will lose one thing or another, n its not easy trust me. But like i said thanx to God it all worked out in the end.

Good luck with what u do coz i no how it is with all the emotional blackmail and everything.

lol this was supposed to be cut short sowi ive jus gone on n on but had to make it make sense :)
xXx

[kalashna_love]

Im glad you noticed :cool: lol

yup, gladly, got my eyes on you.....

[•Amrita•]

I've seen this situation a lot in some families.

The more you get to know this "rishta guy", the more your family is going to think that their plan is working. You need to be honest with them hun, I also come from a Jatt family and I know how much ego and izat and all matters to our kind but truth be told, Jatts have been known to give in when it comes to love. Just don't give up.

You know my aunty fought for her love and it would have even worked out, but you know what? The same thing happened to her, and she was the one who ended up giving in... but you know the saddest part? What Kalshna_love is saying is exactly what happened to the guy when she left him, and till this day he is not married to anyone else. He's established, rich, handsome you name it. But he still cries for her, and I think she hates herself for it. Even her own brothers (who were the ones who did not let the wedding happen) feel guilty now for ruining their lives, but what now? Sometimes our families do not know what's good for us. Yes they can help in arranging a suitable match but not all matches set up by families succeed either.

Love marriages are scary b/c the two involved have to work to make it happen, but like salma sis said and I'll even give you my own life as an example. It's not all doomed, my bf also wen through the same shit, and it was all my fault. To make matters worst and harder, we are different religions, everything was going against us and some still are. He tried to kill himself twice... I tried to as well.. it was horrible. I felt like God was even against us, but you know what don't give up if he is the one. Only you trully know that, no one else. I love my parents to death. I was EXACTLY like you. He was my first. I also have never drank, smoked, gone clubbing you name it. The typical goody goody desi girl. But I met him and everything changed, but I'm happy with him. And I got him in the end, after a whole lot of tears and horrible situations which I don't even want to think about. The worst part is, when I read what Kalashna_love wrote, it made me cry b/c I remember my own bf doing the same things.. he use to cry my name in the hospital and the doctor almost declared him as insane. It was that bad. Love only comes once. I don't know how strongly your bf feels about you. But if you time and time again keep thinking about him, while trying to give this rishta guy a chance then do not marry the rishta guy. Spend more time with ur bf, see if he trully is the one. But do not marry someone who you are doubtful about. And if you close your eyes and imagine a future with ur bf, and know that you can't forget him then be with him!

Don't be like my aunty and regret it after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids with another man. Don't do that to him or yourself. Parents love us no matter what and always will. And if you trully are not happy with him, they will come around. Believe me!

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

marry me instead, iam gona be watching you like a hawk...lol
lol you are such a flirt.

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

hello guys i just want to say thank you sooooo much. Your advice really helped me. i am unconfused now lol i know what i want now. I have made my decision to be with my bf and told me my parents about it. My bro is ok with it cause he had a love marriage himself. ABout my parents there is alot of emotional blackmailing going on rite now at the house :(. But i know i have to be strong and get thro this. When i told my mom about it she was soo mad and mean to me but that didn't chnage my answer so after sometime she was sooo nice and sweet to me and try to chnage my answser like that but it didn't work it kinda made me change my mind but than i remebered what you guys have said n just stood there strong.

Now i have to work with my bf and make our relationship more stronger he is a very busy person and we barely have time to see each other and that upset me but this is a another challenge i will get thro too and hopefully at the end it's all worth it : )

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

Hmmmmm sumfing similar lyk this happened to me a long tym ago lol

2 cut it short i got engaged wen i was 14 to one of my relatives without my consent and he was exactly like the way u described the guy ur parents want u to marry, n then i met my hubby at first it was nothing serious bu as time went on we fell deeper n deeper in love, he was supposed to be getting married to his first cousin n me to this guy. btw after i met my hubby we found out that we were distant relatives and both our families knew each other really well.

anyways i told my aunty to tell my parents and believe me wen i say ww3 kiked off ww3 kiked, i tried and tried to persuade them, now my hubbys fam was really backwards whereas my fam was the opposite, and i was very stubborn and always had my way,

my parents were like its never gona work coz we r totally different but i knew deep down that no matter what my hubby will always be there for me, and that he loves me a lot, i was with him long enough to know what he was like, i had people telling me all sorts of lies about him but i knew none of it was true.

So i fighted n fighted n ended up marrying the love of my life dont ask how but it wsnt easy, my parents didnt talk to me for a year, but then they seen that i was happy, shocked even lol n now almost 9years down the line we r still together and still going strong.

Now i took that decision coz i had full faith in my hubby, so u need to sit back and look at your situation n think is this the guy that i can spend the rest of my life, if you go with ur bf and against ur fam then u have to try extra hard to make it work, coz believe me a lot of people will be waiting for u to mess it up. but once ur parents see that u r happy trust me they will be happy to, coz our parents just want us to be happy.

I mean i couldnt c myself spending the rest of my life with this guy that my parents got me engaged to i jus knew it wouldnt work out n now my parents r saying the same thing it wouldnt have worked out, coz only my hubby can put up with me lol

so think about it long n hard, this two month separation doesnt really mean anything, it jus seems that u want the best of both worlds but the way i see it to gain sumthings in life u have to lose some things, the final decision is urs and either way u will lose one thing or another, n its not easy trust me. But like i said thanx to God it all worked out in the end.

Good luck with what u do coz i no how it is with all the emotional blackmail and everything.

lol this was supposed to be cut short sowi ive jus gone on n on but had to make it make sense :)
xXx
thank you sooo very much your story really gave me hope.

[*~JatTi pUnJaBaN*~]

I've seen this situation a lot in some families.

The more you get to know this "rishta guy", the more your family is going to think that their plan is working. You need to be honest with them hun, I also come from a Jatt family and I know how much ego and izat and all matters to our kind but truth be told, Jatts have been known to give in when it comes to love. Just don't give up.

You know my aunty fought for her love and it would have even worked out, but you know what? The same thing happened to her, and she was the one who ended up giving in... but you know the saddest part? What Kalshna_love is saying is exactly what happened to the guy when she left him, and till this day he is not married to anyone else. He's established, rich, handsome you name it. But he still cries for her, and I think she hates herself for it. Even her own brothers (who were the ones who did not let the wedding happen) feel guilty now for ruining their lives, but what now? Sometimes our families do not know what's good for us. Yes they can help in arranging a suitable match but not all matches set up by families succeed either.

Love marriages are scary b/c the two involved have to work to make it happen, but like salma sis said and I'll even give you my own life as an example. It's not all doomed, my bf also wen through the same shit, and it was all my fault. To make matters worst and harder, we are different religions, everything was going against us and some still are. He tried to kill himself twice... I tried to as well.. it was horrible. I felt like God was even against us, but you know what don't give up if he is the one. Only you trully know that, no one else. I love my parents to death. I was EXACTLY like you. He was my first. I also have never drank, smoked, gone clubbing you name it. The typical goody goody desi girl. But I met him and everything changed, but I'm happy with him. And I got him in the end, after a whole lot of tears and horrible situations which I don't even want to think about. The worst part is, when I read what Kalashna_love wrote, it made me cry b/c I remember my own bf doing the same things.. he use to cry my name in the hospital and the doctor almost declared him as insane. It was that bad. Love only comes once. I don't know how strongly your bf feels about you. But if you time and time again keep thinking about him, while trying to give this rishta guy a chance then do not marry the rishta guy. Spend more time with ur bf, see if he trully is the one. But do not marry someone who you are doubtful about. And if you close your eyes and imagine a future with ur bf, and know that you can't forget him then be with him!

Don't be like my aunty and regret it after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids with another man. Don't do that to him or yourself. Parents love us no matter what and always will. And if you trully are not happy with him, they will come around. Believe me!
thanx alot and your story really helped me too and hope you guys can make it thro wish you guys luck

[Devilz Angel]

I've seen this situation a lot in some families.

The more you get to know this "rishta guy", the more your family is going to think that their plan is working. You need to be honest with them hun, I also come from a Jatt family and I know how much ego and izat and all matters to our kind but truth be told, Jatts have been known to give in when it comes to love. Just don't give up.

You know my aunty fought for her love and it would have even worked out, but you know what? The same thing happened to her, and she was the one who ended up giving in... but you know the saddest part? What Kalshna_love is saying is exactly what happened to the guy when she left him, and till this day he is not married to anyone else. He's established, rich, handsome you name it. But he still cries for her, and I think she hates herself for it. Even her own brothers (who were the ones who did not let the wedding happen) feel guilty now for ruining their lives, but what now? Sometimes our families do not know what's good for us. Yes they can help in arranging a suitable match but not all matches set up by families succeed either.

Love marriages are scary b/c the two involved have to work to make it happen, but like salma sis said and I'll even give you my own life as an example. It's not all doomed, my bf also wen through the same shit, and it was all my fault. To make matters worst and harder, we are different religions, everything was going against us and some still are. He tried to kill himself twice... I tried to as well.. it was horrible. I felt like God was even against us, but you know what don't give up if he is the one. Only you trully know that, no one else. I love my parents to death. I was EXACTLY like you. He was my first. I also have never drank, smoked, gone clubbing you name it. The typical goody goody desi girl. But I met him and everything changed, but I'm happy with him. And I got him in the end, after a whole lot of tears and horrible situations which I don't even want to think about. The worst part is, when I read what Kalashna_love wrote, it made me cry b/c I remember my own bf doing the same things.. he use to cry my name in the hospital and the doctor almost declared him as insane. It was that bad. Love only comes once. I don't know how strongly your bf feels about you. But if you time and time again keep thinking about him, while trying to give this rishta guy a chance then do not marry the rishta guy. Spend more time with ur bf, see if he trully is the one. But do not marry someone who you are doubtful about. And if you close your eyes and imagine a future with ur bf, and know that you can't forget him then be with him!

Don't be like my aunty and regret it after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids with another man. Don't do that to him or yourself. Parents love us no matter what and always will. And if you trully are not happy with him, they will come around. Believe me!



if yu dnt mind me askin wats the status btwn yu n yur bf .. are yur parents gonna allow yu to marry him?
lol yu dnt hve to answer if yu dnt want to i just hve a tendency to b extremely nosy.. =(

[•Amrita•]

^^ Yah i got him in the end :) and i'm happy and grateful to God everyday of my life.

[DreamzUnlimited]

Don’t be so over-confident about your bf! I am not against your bf or rista guy. In reality ‘you’ feel about your bf- but does he feel the same way you do? Ask him about it. But still I would recommend you to carry on the relationship with your Bf! At least, you won’t have regrets later on.

Good luck to you.

[kalashna_love]

lol you are such a flirt.

no iam not, and wheres my thank you, comeon yaar. no way to treat a guy