Constant Arguements Lead To Confusion..?

[lady-e]

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[*SALMA*]

Maybe there is something going on in his life outside the relationship and he is taking it out on her, maybe some family issues. What she really needs to do is talk to him and ask him what is on his mind, if there is anything of course. You havent really given much info i dont know how long they have been together, or how much time they spend together, coz sumtyms when u do spend a lot of time wid sumone u an get irritated with that person, but she does really need to talk to him, coz when u have things on your mind and sumthing is bugging u, u do tend to take it on the person close to you.

[lady-e]

Maybe there is something going on in his life outside the relationship and he is taking it out on her, maybe some family issues. What she really needs to do is talk to him and ask him what is on his mind, if there is anything of course. You havent really given much info i dont know how long they have been together, or how much time they spend together, coz sumtyms when u do spend a lot of time wid sumone u an get irritated with that person, but she does really need to talk to him, coz when u have things on your mind and sumthing is bugging u, u do tend to take it on the person close to you.

Yeah i know, didnt include much in there because i only know briefly. I just wanna help her, and i'm just worried but I don't know what to do.
They've been together for a year now, both their parents know as well, and as far as I know they haven't really been seeing much of each other lately so that could be it.
That's the thing, she's tried talking to him, I've even got them to speak twice now, and the matter resolves but then they argue again over God knows what. She said that he said he just misses her cause they don't see each other much, but I don't know. These relationships are very confusing lol. Thank you though. Hope you've been good salma baji :)

[L]

I hate arguments.. hmm.. its better if both of them avoid arguments..
what do they argue about mostly?
Miscommunications and misundertsandings are the no. 1 reason for arguments..

Let her find out whats wrong..
and the best cure is to avoid arguments..
let her avoid him when he is in a bad mood..
he will get back to his senses :P she should be cool though..
Seems that she has temper issues too..

[DreamzUnlimited]

I found this article online & i hope this helps.

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Arguing With Your Partner Can Be a Good Thing for Your Relationship. Getting a few things off your chest can actually make you both a lot happier. No one likes conflict - especially when it comes to fighting with someone you care about. But the reality is that arguing is not only unavoidable in a relationship, it’s actually healthy if done in a positive way. Here’s why.

Conflict Can Be Positive
No two people agree on everything one hundred percent of the time. That’s the reality. So when a couple never argues, one person is probably just catering to the other person’s choices. One part of the couple gets fed up with arguing and caves to the other person’s viewpoint. While compromise is healthy, giving up because you’re worn down (or don’t feel your opinion is valued) definitely is not a healthy situation.

Fighting Fair
For those couples that do air their differences, it’s important that the argument is focused on the issue at hand and does not involve personal attacks. Never bring up an old situation just to add “fuel to the fire.” Discuss the current problem and how it made you feel. If you’re just upset and are not really sure what the issue is, take a few moments to figure it out before you address your mate.

When two people know each other well, it’s easy to say that one thing that will send the other person over the edge. But avoid this behavior. Stop yourself before you say something you might regret. (Or worse, be unable to take back.) If necessary, engage in some deep breathing to calm yourself down for a few moments so you can clearly think about the issue at hand.

Learn to Forgive
Forgiveness is an important tool in life and nowhere is that more true than a romantic relationship. Discussing your differences in an appropriate way will help you both realize your part in the situation. When that occurs, you can apologize, learn from the behavior, and move on from it. If your mate does apologize to you, accept it with grace and let the offense go. Never say you accept an apology and later bring up the behavior as if you really didn’t forgive.

Seek Counseling
If the two of you find yourselves having the same argument over and over, perhaps it’s time to get the assistance of a trained counselor. An objective third party will not only be able to help you see your problems more clearly, he or she will also be able to tweak your arguing style so you help your relationship rather than hurt it.

Accept Conflict
Look at disagreements as an opportunity to improve your relationship. Remaining silently unhappy does not improve your overall partnership. Doing so may make you lash out in other, less direct, ways. It’s better to address something head on and with the right tone and attitude than to simply be angry with your mate without clarifying why. Learning to argue effectively is imperative to the future and success of your relationship.

[daisy]

arguing with your partner is the most common thing you would find in a relationship these days.. but that doesnt mean that you dont love your partner... it could be that one of them is probably just stressed about a particular subject and sadly enough, your partner happens to be there at the wrng time.. and this could be the reason why he's stressing out on her.. and maybe she cant tolerate someone enhancing there frustration on her, which leads minor argument into major.. am only saying this from my experience since i do get stressed out a lot..and argue in such a manner, that u just wouldnt want to know me but luckily enough my partner is aware of that.. and rather then saying something to make the matter worse.. he tries to calm me down with his philospical teaching or show me some love to make me feel tht am not alone.. by cuddling me etc.. if he had not done that.. an talked back at me, saying that its not his problem etc.. then id probably make the matter worse.. but its not like this in my relationship.. so all i can say is tht.. the girl will either have to be patience with her partner, if she truly loves him and understand him.. or eles she will have to leave him.. u just cant simple be in a relationship if both are feeling unhappy from both sides.. unless someone isnt willing to compromise x

[lady-e]

Thank you L, Daisy, & Dreamz Unlimited.
I actually used all 3 posts as advice, and then i told her i posted this thread lol, but everyone's opinions and advice actually contributed and helped. She confronted it though and so did he, and they're alot better, back to normal. Peace at last, don't have to hear her saying scary things nomore, wasn't very nice hearing your best friend saying things like that.
Take care guys :)

[L]

u r welcome Lady-e :mrgreen:
im glad everythings ok now!

[Muzi]

Well Lady-e from my own experience I been going out with my gf for about 4 months now and omg we use to argue soo much about things, it was usually her bringing up something from my past (which I assume u know of) and ya fair enough she felt uncomfortable about it a lot I'd hence she would keep bringing it up and arguing about that things like, "oh I bet you did this all before, nothing different now" etc
Until one day I just sat her down and told her look I understand that your mad and upset but that doesn't change the fact what we have now is working for us (apart from the arguments) in the sense that we both like each other, we can talk for hours literally, same music taste, hanging out a lot, she even shows interest in boxing which is of huge interest to me, after that she understood and been good since then.

What my point is one of them has to take a step back from the whole situation and see it from a third persons point of view and see exactly what the problem is, how to solve it, if they can't solve it then two options. First being break up, second being live with it.
They just need to see/understand that little things in life make the difference as in they should both be thinking about happy things they used to do before and ask themselves why aren't we doing all that now?

And the fact of the matter that hes getting annoyed at little things kind of shows that he most likely has taken her for granted otherwise he would be considerate and share his feelings is a different manner.

They just need to sit down and talk it out and be logical about it instead of being all emotional cuz its with brains that we think not hearts

[Muzi]

I really should have read that they're ok now lol

[jackson86]

hii..i think Talking and listening are probably the most important skills in every relationship and especially in marriage. Communication is the key to any relationship.Arguments in a marriage can be healthy. A couple who can recognise each others differing needs, views or wishes will certainly argue or discuss, but things are likely to be worked out. Arguments don't necessarily have to be shouting matches. They can simply be a device used to convince someone of something that you feel is important. Argument is to be productive always.yaa but Frequent arguments cause a lot of damage to a relationship and create Confusion

[x-Preeti-x]

I argue with my boyfriend over things all the time but as long as it never leads to violence its ok. but it matters what they are arguing about, sometimes things are said which hurt and you can never forget, everyone has misunderstandings. a research proved couples who make up qwick after a argument have a healthy relationship :-D