Santa Banta Jokes

[INDIAN_ROSE]

Banta, a furniture dealer from Ludhiana, decided to Expand the line of furniture in his store, so he decided to go to Chennai to see what he could find.

After arriving in Chennai he met with some manufacturers and selected a line that he thought would sell well Back home in Ludhiana.

To celebrate the new acquisition, he decided to visit a small bar and have a beer. As he sat enjoying his beer, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded, and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat.

Before long, a very beautiful young woman came to his table, asked him something in Tamil (which he did not understand), and motioned toward the Chair. He invited her to sit down.

He tried to speak to her in Hindi, but she did not knew Hindi so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, Banta took a napkin and drew a picture of a beer glass and showed it to her. She nodded, and he ordered a glass of beer for her.

After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded. They left the bar and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music. They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was Packing up.

Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

To this day, Banta has no idea how she figured out he was in the Furniture business.

[INDIAN_ROSE]

Banta called his friend, Santa, and told him that he recently met the woman of his dreams. Now what should he do?

Santa said, "Send her some flowers, and on the card invite her for a home-cooked meal."

Banta liked the idea, so he invited the woman.

The day after the meal Santa calls Banta and asks about the meal.

Banta, "It was a flop idea."

Santa, "Didn't the girl come to your house?"

Banta, "She did, but she refused to cook!"

[INDIAN_ROSE]

Banta thought he was dead, but in reality he was very much alive. His delusion became such a problem that his family finally paid for him to see a psychiatrist.

The psychiatrist spent many laborious sessions trying to convince Banta that he is still alive. Nothing seemed to work.

Finally the doctor tried one last approach. He took out his medical books and proceeded to show Banta that dead men don't bleed. After hours of tedious study, Banta seemed convinced that dead men don't bleed.

"Do you now agree that dead men don't bleed?" the doctor asked.

"Yes, I do," Banta replied.

"Very well, then," the doctor said.

He took out a pin and pricked the patient's finger. Out came a trickle of blood.

The doctor asked, "What does that tell you?"

"Oh my goodness!" Banta exclaimed as he stared incredulously at his finger ... "Dead men do bleed!!"

[INDIAN_ROSE]

santa ne pathan se uski beti ka haath maanga. pathaan ne santa ko bahut maara. maar khane k baad santa utha aur kapde saaf karte huye bola "to phir main inkaar samjhu?"

[INDIAN_ROSE]

Banta Singh was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go for prayers every day for the rest of my life and give up tequila, scotch, rum" Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Banta Singh looked up again and said, "Never mind. I found one."

[INDIAN_ROSE]

Titanic was sinking.

Santa: How much the earth is far from here?

Banta: 1 kilo meter.

Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: "...In which direction?"

Banta: Downwards !

[INDIAN_ROSE]

IN COURT during a case: Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke ..... Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....



Q How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???

A They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!

tarara

[INDIAN_ROSE]

A sardarji photographer is focusing a dead body's face in a funeral function, suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him. why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

Why is a Sardarji standing below a tube light with a open mouth................. Because his doctor advised him "Today's dinner should be light"



One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. U know Why? Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking...


Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It's already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.



Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever - What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.



A teacher told all students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match. All were busy writing except one Sardarji. He wrote "DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!"



Postman: - I Have To Come 5 Miles to Deliver U This Packet Sardar: - Why did u come so far. Instead u could have posted it....



A man asked sardarji, why Manmohan singh goes walking at evening not in the morning. Sardarji replied ''Arey bhai Manmohan is PM not AM''.



Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital. The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies. Sardarji goes 2 china 2 find meaning of friends last words. It is 'U R STANDNG ON the OXGN TUBE!"



Sardarji was standing in front of the mirror with his eyes closed. His wife asked what you are doing. He said-I am seeing how I look while sleeping.



Why did Sardar cut the sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess what...---To avoid side effect!!!



Man: Sardarji where were u born? Sardarji: Punjab . Man: Which part? Sardar: Oye part part kya kar raha hai, whole body is born in punjab".



IN COURT during a case: Lawyer to Sardar: Gita pe haath rakhkar kaho ke ..... Sardar: yeh kya, Sita pe haath lagaya to court me bulaiya. ab kehte ho gita pe haath rakho.....



Sardar: For the past one week a girl is disturbing me. I don't know how she got my no, She interrupts whenever I call someone and says "please recharge your card"



A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found Mrs Sardar painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall. She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For best results put on two coats"

A sardar was drawing money from ATM, The sardar behind him in the line said, "Ha! Ha! Haaa! I've seen ur password. Its 4 asterisks (****). The first sardar replies, Ha! Ha! Haaa! U r wrong, Its 1258.



Q How do u recognize a sardar in school or college???

A They are the ones who erase their notebooks when the teacher erases the blackboard... BOLO tarara!!



Q Why did the sardarji sleep with a scale? A Because he wanted to measure how much he has slept........



Santa Singh MBBS. After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his own practice. He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the Tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch. Finally he said Battery is Ok !!!